Actual recent email correspondence with an actual Intuitive Eating client:
Erin:
I know you said I could reach out any time, and I have mostly not done that because things have been relatively smooth. This weekend I took a dive, though. I tried on some summer shorts and they didn’t fit–like at all. Then I overate purely because I felt crappy about my body. What the heck? It’s like I didn’t learn anything you taught me.
Also, I had a headache for the entire week. I keep trying to remind myself of some of the things you would say to get me through. I guess I’m just looking for some motivation to keep going. Right now I just want to quit Intuitive Eating and go on a diet. I just feel like I am making no progress.
Thanks, Angie
Dear Angie:
I’m so glad you are reaching out! I want you to. It’s an important part of the process!
One thing you could do is make a conscious effort to write down five things every day that show you that you’re making progress. They can be five new things, five things you’ve noticed since you’ve started, or five older things. The point is to keep the focus on the good and the progress you’re making. This process is not at all linear. It’s often three steps forward and 3 steps back. You will get there!
I also want to remind you of the progress I’ve seen you making. In our last call you talked about ordering a hamburger and french fries at a restaurant for the first time in years. You listened to your body and only ate half of each to see how that felt, and you felt great! You have been experimenting with new recipes and cooking vegetables that appeal to you, and focusing on having a new experience with those foods. You have found some exercise that you really love and look forward to. You have also had considerable success in discerning whether you were wanting to eat due to hunger or emotions. I think you’ve come a long way!
What would you say to your child that had a headache for a week? You’d say: “It’s OK, Sweetie. Sometimes you want comfort food when you’re not feeling well. Now is not the time to focus on progress. Now is the time to focus on being kind to yourself and getting well.”
Remember, progress in Intuitive Eating is measured by your level of freedom around food (i.e. having neutrality around food choices, not binging, not obsessing about food, not dieting, listening to your body, feeling peace). We don’t measure progress in Intuitive Eating by weight loss.
I know it’s so tempting to want to diet again, but let’s think it all the way through. What happened last time you went on a diet? I remember you saying you couldn’t stick to it, you lost a bit of weight initially, then you gained it all back and felt horrible about yourself. It won’t be different this time. There is no better or different diet out there that will fix it all. In fact, you’ll just further erode your relationship with food and all your good Intuitive Eating progress.
Hope this helps. Hang in there. You’re doing great. You’ve already made tons of progress!
Love, Erin
