So, you binged. Again. It’s OK. It’s all about getting right back up after a relapse, brushing off the dust, and carrying on–without beating yourself up. Here’s what to do.
Don’t beat yourself up no matter what!
Guilting yourself or shaming yourself don’t work. They only make you feel worse and keep you stuck in the pattern. Any time a child you love or your best friend make a mistake you aren’t berating them for days on end, are you? Of course not. You’re loving, and patient, and kind.
When you beat yourself up, you often end up going back to the food for comfort. The exact opposite of what you want. Do your best to say “STOP” to the mean voices in your head, and focus your energy elsewhere. Like the next step….
Learn from your behaviors with curiosity
Spend some time writing out exactly what happened. What precipitated the binge? Did it start days ago when you told yourself you couldn’t have sugar? Or perhaps you had an argument with your spouse and you stuffed your feelings and then tamped them down with food? Did you get overly hungry in the daytime, and “lose control” at dinner?
If you dig into the reasons why you went to food, you’ll not only begin to figure out your patterns and triggers, you’ll have a better understanding of your own needs. You see, we binge eat in part because we believe it fills a need. Maybe for comfort or belonging or excitement or to de-stress. All of these are valid needs that you can learn to meet without going to food. There is nothing morally wrong with going to food for comfort. We’re humans and it happens. But, when you’re ready to stop binge eating, honestly taking a look at your behaviors and what your spirit is trying to communicate to you is invaluable.
Remember, curiosity is key. If you’re not able to do this without berating yourself, take a break. Come back to it when you’re calmer and can be nice to yourself. Just make sure to come back to it. This is one of the key components to healing from binge eating.
Eat again when you’re hungry
One of the worst things you can do is to restrict the rest of the day, or tell yourself you can’t eat until tomorrow. Your body will tell you when it’s hungry. Wait to eat until you are hungry, and eat again then. If you’ve eaten so much that you’re actually not hungry the whole next day, do your best to eat 3 meals. It may be hard but it’s better to eat again normally and remind your body that you’re not in starvation. Remember, your goal is to recover from binge eating in the long run, not to mitigate weight gain now. So, if you’re concerned about weight gain, put those thoughts aside and focus on recovery. It’s amazing how this helps you get right back on track instead of spiraling back into restriction or a diet or another binge.
Practice self-care
Do something nice for yourself. It has been said that having a relapse is a sign that your stressors have exceeded your coping mechanisms. So, clearly self-care is in order. Find some ways to nurture yourself through the next few days. See some friends. Talk to a counselor. Get outside. Watch a favorite movie. Meditate. Whatever grounds you and brings you back home to yourself.
Don’t purge
Purging through any means will only keep you in the cycle. Excessive laxative use, over exercising, not eating for extended periods of time, vomiting, or any other method you may use to compensate for the food you’ve ingested will only put you back on the roller coaster. Remember, restriction leads to binging–every time. Again, don’t sacrifice your long term goal of being binge free for the short term goal of keeping the weight off.
You’d be surprised how your body can bounce back from a serious overeating session with little weight gain, but the negative effects of purging are enormous. Your body hates purging. Think about it. We naturally expel things that are poisonous or make us tremendously sick. It is highly unnatural for our bodies to be getting rid of food. It throws off all the systems of the body including your electrolytes, your immune system, and your metabolism. You do SO much more damage by purging than you do by just sitting through the uncomfortable feeling of being excessively full. But, you can do it. And, your body will thank you.
If you’ve recently relapsed, I just want you to know you’re not alone. Recovering from binge eating is no walk in the park, and it often takes many ups and downs. But, keep moving forward. It all will come together in the end.
